ikarit: (sasuke/ cursed)
( Feb. 26th, 2007 07:14 pm)
Oh my god, am I blind? How does a woman, especially a woman who's spent the last six or seven years being abnormally proud of her extra-large boobs, never notice that they're lopsided. I have giant crooked boobs! Oh my god, why didn't I ever notice?

I was so proud of them. I'm passingly pretty, possibly capable of an above-decent figure if I lost about ten to fifteen pounds, only just learned (in the past week, even) how to properly style my hair so it looks nice and maybe makes me look a little bit sexy if I make the right face, but through all the trauma of being only "passingly this" and "a little bit that," I could comfort myself with the fact that I had spectacular tits.

And now I realize that all along, I've been blind! They're deformed! They're misshapen! I'm using too many italics and looking up words on a thesaurus to express my grief!

I was planning on going out because I really do look amazing today, but obviously now I can't, I just can't. I can never go out in public again! My life is over and I wish I was being dramatic for comic effect but this is honest dramatics and I am staying in my room and never coming out.

Also, I will never, ever stop crying after I tell Tiffi she was right all along and while my boobs are still bigger than hers (at least I still have that), her are better because they are symmetrical. We have been demanding that boys rate our boobs since high school and I was ahead, I was ahead and now I must give it all up.

I'm going off to bawl my eyes out and then die of devastation.

eta: Because I think I was horribly unclear, I meant one is lower than the other. They are half a size different from each other but I've known they stopped growing.
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ikarit: (luke/ oh shit)
( Apr. 23rd, 2006 02:30 am)
I was going to make an entry about the two series I've just started to read/watch (Hunter x Hunter and The Prince of Tennis), but paranoia has hit an all time high.

Three very large spiders so far tonight and now I'm checking out each and every room like a SWAT team does as I enter.

I hate my life.

(But the Hunter x Hunter manga is a very good distraction.)
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ikarit: (narusasu/ i hate everything about you)
»

so.

( Apr. 21st, 2006 10:05 pm)
In life, there are good things and then there are bad things.

For example.

When a young girl sitting innocently in her computer chair turns to see a spider hanging in midair about six inches away from her face... that is a bad thing. Bad. Very bad.

It is worse when it happens very late at night, at a time when she cannot scream for fear of waking up family members who would then beat her over the head with sticks. Or maybe rocks. Possibly even sticks and rocks.

It's much, much worse when she loses track of the spider while she's panicking and realizes the most likely scenario is that it's ON HER SOMEWHERE. So then she's ripping off her pajamas while frantically brushing at her arms and legs. Naturally, it will not be until she's thrown off her pants that she looks down and sees the spider on the floor about a foot away.

So then this girl is running around in her underwear as she tries to smash the spider.

It's not fun. Or funny--so no laughing.

Not that this particular situation happened to me.
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ikarit: (sakura/ omfg)
( Jul. 30th, 2005 06:35 pm)
So, dinner.

Final topic of dicussion before clean-up.

BILLBOARDS.

Shannon's mother sent us a letter. :D Pictures of the EIGHT OR NINE billboards around OUR TOWN with Shannon's picture on them. (Shannon is even posing under the billboards in some of the pictures!) And then a copy of her Congressional Award. She got a gold one this time, didn't I say she was going for a gold one?!?!

My entire family: OMFG STOP SENDING US THESE LETTERS.

Today is not my day.
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Username has been changed for my personal amusement her protection. Her actual nick had something to do with converting people to her psycho ways religion.

We'd talked a couple of times, and I was just getting to think she'd be okay... a little religious and perfect, but normal-ish, and then there was this:

Psycho Roomie says: let me tell you this when someone asked me how i knew that we didnt come from a giant explosion and then a puddle and monkeys i didnt know what to say because i just balieved but the bible says to be prepared to give an answer as to why you believe. Not to have blind faith so i asked my youth pastor and he told me to look at an artist. He paints with emotion or they play the piano with emotion..
Psycho Roomie says: an explosion could not create emotion like we have
Psycho Roomie says: if you ever have any lind of question no matter what it is i would be happy to help you find an answer because if it is something i dont know we both benefit from the answer
Jennie says: Okay.

(Instead of "okay," I was actually thinking something closer to "OH GOD SAVE ME FROM THE CRAZY PSYCHO," but I thought she might be a little hurt if I said that.)

And what did my dear friend Eve have to say about this latest conversation? )

THANKS FOR THE COMFORTING, EVE. THIS IS WHY I GO TO YOU IN MY TIMES OF NEED.
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[Scene: Mom and me in a car along the shopping and fast food district, stopped at a red light.]

Me: *staring blankly out window, suddenly notices something*
Me: ...
Me: Mom?
Mom: What?
Me: SHANNON IS ON THAT BILLBOARD.
Mom: What?!
Me: RIGHT THERE, OH MY GOD, RIGHT THERE! *points frantically* SHANNON IS ON THAT FRICKIN' BILLBOARD!

Billboard says: "Leaders of Tomorrow," with a picture of about seven people arranged behind one person--my younger cousin, Shannon.

Why? God, why? Isn't it enough that she's in the newspaper at least three or four times a year (front page, of course) for her various volunteering activities, the latest award she's won, the television show she's directed, the guide dogs for the blind she trains and the charity drives she organizes? Plus all the billion other wonderful things she does that I'm forgetting?

But now she's on billboards, not even as a model, but advertising an honor she's recieved? DID I NOT FEEL INADEQUATE ENOUGH BEFORE?!
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This has been bothering me for the past two or three days. When we went camping this weekend, our neighbors watched our dog on Saturday night while Brian was up with us. She stayed the night at their house.

I think they're going to steal her. Or at the very least, be creepily obsessed with her!

I'm serious. ;_;

They used to have a dog, this adorable little terrier. I think Fluffy was a West Highland Terrier? Something like that. She died a few months back. It was sad, but she was an old dog and it was her time. Our neighbors were devastated. They never had any children of their own, and so their dog was like their child. That was the most spoiled, loved dog in the entire world.

When she died, they had her stuffed. They took her to a taxidermist and had her stuffed.

It's creepy. I repeat myself, but it is. They have her set in a place of honor, and I think they move her around and stuff. No one but my grandmother has been brave enough to go over there and see it, and Grandma says they even have a spot for it in their bedroom.

...I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole.

So, they jumped at the chance to watch Ginger because there's a giant void in their life since Fluffy died. Really, we only asked them to let her out, but they insisted they'd love to have her! She could stay with them! Okay, no problem. That sounds great.

When Brian and I came back on Sunday, they brought her back over. They said she was just the best dog ever, so quiet and well-behaved and just the best dog! (She is, actually, but that's not the point!) They took really good care of her. She had her own blanket over there.

Not so creepy yet, but just wait.

Monday morning, I'd been up for a few hours. Still in my pajamas around noon, someone rings the bell. It's my neighbors. They were worried because they hadn't seen Ginger outside yet.

...now it's creepy.

Um. I'd let her out twice, but I thanked them for their concern and closed the door. What kind of people come over just to make sure a dog is okay because they think it hasn't been let out yet?! Do they think I can't take care of her? DO THEY?! Well, I can. Hmph.

They've been over since then, visiting my parents. They're obsessing over Ginger, still. Going on and on about how wonderful she is. They stare at her every time they see me take her on a walk. YOU CAN'T HAVE HER, OKAY?! YOU CAN'T!

I might just be overreacting because my dog is my precious darling, but I swear to god, if they mention that she should go to a taxidermist when she dies, I will take Ginger and run away to South Africa. They'll never think to look for us there!
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Holy shit, I just had the crap scared out of me. @_@ My heart is still going crazy, and it's been a half an hour or so! I had to turn my computer back on just to post about it.

I'm all ready for bed... I was just rereading Gravitation, so my reading light was on, right by my window. My open window. You know, how I mentioned leaving all the windows open creeps me out? YEAH, YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO GUESS WHERE THIS IS GOING.

I'm reading my book, totally absorbed, and then all of a sudden, I hear in this ghostly-sounding whisper, "oh, thank god! Jennie!"

...I have no idea how I managed to stop myself from shrieking, but I did. For the five seconds it took to make out his face, I couldn't tell who it was an I thought I was going to be murdered in my sleep. Or something... since I wasn't sleeping... in my bed! Yeah, murdered in my bed. But I finally figured out what I was looking at: Jimmy standing outside my window and looking desperately relieved.

I went from terror to confusion in like two seconds flat. I think he said a few things, but my mind was mostly on things like, "what the fuck?" and "the hell?" and just plain "????????" I think the jist was something close to, "oh, thank god, Jennie! The back door is locked, go open it! I can't get inside!"

Me: ...uh... what are you doing outside?
Jimmy: I WENT TOILET PAPERING, JUST GO UNLOCK THE DOOR PLEASE.
Me: ...uh... right, then...

Totally freaked me the hell out. Once I let him in as quietly as possible, he was all giddy because he'd gotten away with it. Jesus, why do my brothers do these stupid things? First Brian with the porn, and now Jimmy with his... law-breaking nighttime jaunts.

...but now I have blackmail material on both of them, which can only mean good things are ahead! Even if Brian's blackmail came at the expense of my innocent mind, and Jimmy's nearly made me pee myself.
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ikarit: (sakura/ omfg)
»

...

( Jun. 15th, 2005 01:41 pm)
...I don't know whether to scream, wash my brain out with acid, laugh my ass off, or cry.

I just caught Brian looking at porn.
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ikarit: (Default)
( May. 11th, 2005 11:23 am)
I finally watched a whole episode of Veronica Mars. Unfortunately, it was the season finale. Go, stupid me. Actually, it might not be a bad thing, because if I'd seen a different ep, or maybe watched it all season, it would have driven me crazy trying to figure out who the killer was. It was a good episode... I think I'll try to catch reruns this summer. I would still choose Scrubs (on at the same time, and the reason I never watched it before) over Veronica Mars, but I guess that's not a problem any more.

I'm going over to Tiffi's at 1pm today. That's just two hours from now, whee! It's been a while since I've seen her, so it'll be nice to hang out. I dunno what we're doing yet.

I don't know why, but for some reason, I'm listening to all the chirping outside my window and remembering this one time that there was some kind of bird of prey sitting on my neighbor's fence. It was very surprising, actually, seeing some kind of hawk or falcon just... sitting on a four-foot high chain link fence. What kind of bird would do that? XD It was neat, though, seeing one up that close. The part of the fence it was sitting on was just about ten feet away from one of our living room windows, so we got a really close up look.

I have no idea why I'm remembering that, but I am. It was years ago. I see birds like that a lot, they're not uncommon around here... just usually they're flying hundreds of miles in the air, and you're just seeing a smudge against the sky. Although it's hard to tell them apart from vultures, so maybe they're more uncommon than I think. I doubt that, though, since I've seen at least two birds of prey up close (the one on that fence, and then one diving by the side of a road just a month or two ago) and never seen a vulture.

Mom has a thing for birds, you see, so I tend to notice them. And I like nature, so... when I was little and my mom squealed about blue jays and cardinals (her particular favorites), I sort of... learned to pay attention so if I saw one and she didn't, I could point them out to her. And birds are generally very pretty, anyway. From a distance. Up close, large birds actually kind of freak me out. A lot. I have a mild sort of bird phobia...

Angie just thought it was hilarious a few months ago when we went to a pet shop, and a I freaked out over a parrot. Definitely freaked out. She thought it was just the funniest thing EVER. WELL, YOU WOULDN'T THINK IT'S FUNNY WHEN A THING WITH CREEPY LEGS AND A BEAK AND FEATHERS STARTS FLAPPING AROUND TWO FEET AWAY FROM YOU!!! Well, it was two feet away from her, too, but that's not the point. IT'S NOT THE POINT, OKAY?

Also, why is it that when I say birds freak me out, people always ask if I've seen a movie called "Birds" or something. Just for the record, I have not and I only know it's about... killer birds? I wouldn't know, I don't watch scary movies. EVER. There are perhaps one or two exceptions, and none of those would be about BIRDS. Ew.

...why is this post mostly about birds? I don't know. I am so fucking weird.

And, with that said, I'm going to make a list of things that freak me out and/or will not touch and/or things that give me nightmares (not that I ever have nightmares, but if I DID have nightmares, these would be what I would have them about).

  • birds (freak me out/nightmares)
  • having eyes gouged out (nightmares)
  • ghosts (freak me out/nightmares)
  • stuffed animals (will not touch)
  • heights (nightmares)
  • bugs (nightmares--which is weird considering I loved bugs as a child)
  • spiders (nightmares--YES THIS DESERVES A CATEGORY OF ITS OWN)
  • wide open spaces, like being on a boat in open water (freaks me out)

    There's probably more, mostly weird, things that belong in that list, but I can't think of any right now.
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