ikarit: (hiro/ future)
( Jun. 17th, 2007 01:34 pm)
I never thought I'd say this, but I really don't want 100 icons anymore. 50 would work. When they first changed the policy and we could have 100, I was really excited. I'm not sure I ever got up to 100 (probably, maybe, I'm not sure), and I definitely have never gotten up to 117, which is my total number possible, but I enjoyed knowing I could And now I'm less into anime and more into television and movies--mostly television--and going through and trying to update my icons, and I'm thinking... god, I really don't care. I really don't. Maybe it's just because I barely update livejournal (although I do check my flist religiously), but I don't care.

I'm down to 40 now, and maybe I'll end up adding a few more pretty soon, but that'll just be so I can have icons in my newer fandoms. I don't have any Stargate Atlantis icons, and I love that show. I only just got a few Heroes icons, but I only just started watching the show.

I guess I'm just so surprised because even when I'd practically abandoned livejournal, I still renewed my extra icons. Even barely used, I still wanted to have them. I'm just surprised it's suddenly stopped mattering.

(6 days until Punta Cana!)
ikarit: (petrellis/ the family petrelli)
( Jun. 7th, 2007 10:44 pm)
2 weeks until vacation! Off to Punta Cana! In preparation for this momentous event, Mom and I started going tanning every day in hopes that if we're already tan(ish), we won't promptly burst into flames when we get off the plane. I can now consider myself a little tan. It must, however, be noted that "a little tan" for me is probably still "pale" to everyone else.

I'm currently obsessing over Heroes, particularly the finale. I keep watching it over and over, especially the big dramatic moment in the end. I heard a lot of people thought it was anti-climactic, but I loved it. Anything with sibling love is going to be awesome in my eyes. And it made me love Nathan! I hated him throughout the entire season, and now all of a sudden he's become one of my favorite characters.

It just goes to show what a giant heroic turnaround can do.
First my job probably fell through after a month and a half long wait (long story), and now my baby brother is making me want to cry.

He came home from school with an unhappy cloud over his head the likes of which I've never seen before, I immediately started fluttering around helplessly trying to figure out what was wrong. I kind of wish I'd left it alone, because it turns out I really didn't want to know what was bothering him. He told me that his girlfriend is "absolutely furious" with him because she found out that he messed around with drugs and alcohol last Friday night.

...prior to today, I did not like his girlfriend. No real reason, except I don't like any of his girlfriends. I usually refer to any girlfriends as "that girl" and "what's her face" and completely ignore them whenever I have to spend time with them. However, this latest girl has made an impact on my heart, because my baby brother is desolate, regretful and just all-around miserable.

I thought I'd be furious with him too. But he's just so unhappy and I hate when he's unhappy. Not just about the girlfriend, either. He's regretting the drugs and alcohol. From what he told me, originally he said no. And then no again... and again... and again. He only agreed because they kept offering and offering. And I can see how he would just give in. He's so young and concerned with appearances, and you never really know what you're made of until you're tested. Well, he failed his test.

Who's to say I would've done any differently at his age? No one ever offered me drugs, maybe I would've given in if people were shoving them at me. I certainly did with alcohol! Well, once or twice, anyway. Maybe it was sheer luck I was never in his position. Well, luck and good friends. But I can't think that badly of him, and I can't really be mad.

Plus, he's just so... upset. For a minute, I was afraid he was going to cry and I just wanted to hug him so badly. Honestly, I don't know what to do. I promised I wouldn't tell Mom, and I honestly wouldn't have told her anyway. I can't keep an eye on him myself. The only reason I know about this time is because he told me. I'm just so lost. What is the correct response to something like this? I told him to keep away from anyone who offers him drugs, I told him you just have to keep saying no. I don't think there's anything else I can do, except worry some more.

I almost wish I could tell Mom, make her get all the gory details out him so she can keep him away from those people in the future! But that's not going to happen, so I guess I'm going to keep on worrying.
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It figures. Almost my entire life since the age of five, I've wanted long hair. I've gotten it a few times, but always ended up having to have it cut for one reason or another. Most recently, because it was just too damaged, and it looked fairly bad. Split ends everywhere! So I cut it short in order to grow it back healthy.

And now it's long again, after two years of almost obsessive trims every six weeks. Not long-long, but reaching the end of medium length and verging into long.

And I hate it. I really, really hate it. It's driving me nuts! It gets in my way, it takes forever to dry, I have to use product to get it to look good, and worst of all, I still have some split ends. I'm wearing my hair in a ponytail about fifty percent of the time just because it drives me crazy otherwise and the only reason it's not more than that is because I absolutely despise wearing my hair in a ponytail! From five years old to nearly twenty-three, and my goals are all wrong. I'm so lost.

I'm getting it cut to chin length at the most, probably tomorrow or the day after.

Oh, and in other (possibly) more important news, I found a job. A good job! I'll be starting at the end of April or the beginning of May, depending on when things calm down enough for them to have enough time to train me. It's at a privately owned computer shop, where they do both repair and web design. I'll be one of (at the moment), three people taking orders, dealing with the billing, and best of all, ordering around the computer techs!

No, seriously. Apparently Maggie, my boss, believes computer techs and guys and especially guy computer techs, are scatterbrained and need people to order them to do things like fill out paperwork properly. So it's actually part of my job description. This makes me gleeful.
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My circadian rhythm is so fucked up right now. I'm mostly resigned to it, but it's driving my family nuts. It doesn't help that I've got a slew of, I dunno, sleep disorders, I guess. I've always been a very steady insomniac, and even when I'm not suffering from insomnia, it takes me at least an hour to fall asleep. I've always been so jealous of the people who can just close their eyes and fall asleep.

Lucky bastards.

On the other hand, I'm starting to actually hate sleeping, and actively go out of my way to avoid doing it. It's just such a pain, and I don't think I'm... god, not sure of the terms, but I'm fairly sure I'm not sleeping deeply enough. I wake up a lot, and I think my back pain and other various things are keeping me from--well, I'm not exactly sure.

I know that pain can cause sleep problems, because the pain will keep the brain just too alert or something. I know that's a problem for me, maybe even an unhealthy one. I've been getting a lot of headaches lately. I've always gotten headaches, but these are... different. I have trouble focusing and get a little dizzy even when I'm sitting or lying down, and my whole head feels like cotton. No matter that I've gotten at least eight to ten hours of sleep, it's just not the right kind of sleep.

I didn't get tired at all last night, and like I said, I hate sleep these days. It's not relaxing, it just makes me focus on my back pain more, and I get more tired, oddly enough. But I didn't get tired last night at all, wide awake until 6am, and then it hit me. Like usual. Only I didn't go to sleep in hopes that tonight I will sleep at a regular time, and sleep deeply--surely if I'm tired enough, I'll get the kind of sleep I need, right? I hasn't really worked the few other times I've done it, but I've already had two cappucinos and two cans of pop in the last two hours, so I'm kind of... wired?

My hands are trembling, anyway, and my mind's all fuzzy. Possibly I made typos and grammar errors. I keep having to correct myself, and I likely missed something. And probably forgot a few other things in my lovely list of sleep issues. I know I did, actually. I wanted to say that I've tried sleep aids--taking Benedryl, taking Tylenol PM, and they don't work at all. It sucks. It's actually easier to fall asleep without them!

...also, maybe I should not be posting when I feel all drugged and stupid, but this post too way too much effort to just delete it.
ikarit: (amanda/ vulnerable)
( Mar. 2nd, 2007 03:38 pm)
I'm asking everyone on my flist to please pray for the Bluffton University baseball team. They were down in Atlanta when their bus crashed very early this morning. Here's an article on the accident: Fatal Bus Crash in Atlanta. Six have died, although they're not releasing the names of the four students.

Bluffton is about twenty minutes away from my hometown and so it's a popular choice for students from my high school. My family knows several of the students on that baseball team, but the only one I know personally was a family friend. While I didn't know him very well, our families have been friends since before I was born. I'm incredibly worried about him right now, along with all the rest. I haven't prayed for a long time, but I'm praying for Scott and his teammates.

Again, please, please pray for them and their families. Scott's family is a very large, close-knit family, and his uncle, aunt and cousins are our neighbors. I can't even imagine what they're going through right now. Please, please pray for Scott, his family and the rest of the team. If you don't feel comfortable praying, please keep them in your thoughts.

ETA: Not thirty seconds after I posted, my father told me Scott has died. Please pray for his family. I'm sorry, I don't think I'll be replying to any comments for a while. Please pray for his family.

He didn't deserve this. I keep thinking about that sweet little boy, and he didn't deserve this. I'm not very coherent right now, and I can't stop crying, but please, please keep his family in your thoughts. This is going to devastate them.
ikarit: (sasuke/ cursed)
( Feb. 26th, 2007 07:14 pm)
Oh my god, am I blind? How does a woman, especially a woman who's spent the last six or seven years being abnormally proud of her extra-large boobs, never notice that they're lopsided. I have giant crooked boobs! Oh my god, why didn't I ever notice?

I was so proud of them. I'm passingly pretty, possibly capable of an above-decent figure if I lost about ten to fifteen pounds, only just learned (in the past week, even) how to properly style my hair so it looks nice and maybe makes me look a little bit sexy if I make the right face, but through all the trauma of being only "passingly this" and "a little bit that," I could comfort myself with the fact that I had spectacular tits.

And now I realize that all along, I've been blind! They're deformed! They're misshapen! I'm using too many italics and looking up words on a thesaurus to express my grief!

I was planning on going out because I really do look amazing today, but obviously now I can't, I just can't. I can never go out in public again! My life is over and I wish I was being dramatic for comic effect but this is honest dramatics and I am staying in my room and never coming out.

Also, I will never, ever stop crying after I tell Tiffi she was right all along and while my boobs are still bigger than hers (at least I still have that), her are better because they are symmetrical. We have been demanding that boys rate our boobs since high school and I was ahead, I was ahead and now I must give it all up.

I'm going off to bawl my eyes out and then die of devastation.

eta: Because I think I was horribly unclear, I meant one is lower than the other. They are half a size different from each other but I've known they stopped growing.
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It figures--the first time I have a craving for chicken ramen in months and I'm not allowed to eat it. Gah! Cursed Lent. I might've eaten it anyway, but I forgot and had chicken on Ash Wednesday and I already feel guilty about that. Double the guilt would crush me, I just know it.

But god, do I want that ramen. ;_;
...okay, so I admit it. I suck at going to the gym. I went one time, nearly passed out and then never went again. I'm cancelling my membership at the Y. From now on, I'm going to be working out at home.

I swear I will. I swear!

Is anyone on my flist a member of Gaia Online? I know [livejournal.com profile] maechi is, but I'm not sure about anyone else. I stay away from the forums because the majority of the members are preteens (or act like preteens), but it's a fun way to kill time when you're bored. I love dressing up my little character. My flist probably wants to kill me for changing my outfits every day. ^-^; If anyone is a member, please say so and I'll add you!

Currently my avi looks like this:
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Inevitably, however, that will change. Probably tomorrow! But today it is Ninja Girl in honor of Shippuden.

SPEAKING OF SHIPPUDEN! Was I the only one who didn't love it? It seemed like the drawing wasn't the best, and I didn't like the character designs very much either. I thought since it was the first of the new series, they'd really try to wow people. As it is, I almost don't want to bother downloading the next episode when it comes out. I haven't really even been into Naruto lately and Shippuden didn't do much to get me back. Anyone have similar thoughts?
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So, I woke up on Tuesday when my mom came into my room during her lunch break (unfortunately not unusual) and asked me whether Dad had taken my car to work.

He had not.

Which begged the question, "where the hell is my car?"

Then she asked me where Jimmy was. Jimmy, my fifteen year old brother. As in, not old enough to have his driver's license.

That begged the question, "where the hell is my brother?"

Then Mom and I thought about those two questions for a bit. And wondered, "he can't really be that stupid, can he?"

As it turns out, yes, he can. Mom, who was incredibly sick of covering up every time Jimmy does something monumentally retarded, called Dad immediately. Dad called Jimmy, and yep, he was driving my car. Not only was he driving it, but he was driving it down a four lane, 50 mph, major state route in bad road conditions. So bad that school had been cancelled that day, which was why he was supposed to be at home.

Ahem. Yeah, he's grounded. I was so beyond pissed that the only thing that saved him from a bitchslap was the fact that he turned and sped away the minute he saw the look on my face. He also had the nerve to gripe about Mom for calling Dad right away, and I had to point out that we were worried about him. Yes, Mom was mad when she called Dad, but there were other concerns. We hadn't known whether Jimmy had really taken it, or if he'd simply gone over to a friend's and the car had been stolen coincidentally. Mom believed it was possible that Dad maybe had really taken it to work. And finally, if we were right and Jimmy had taken it, Mom and I were both scared shitless he'd kill himself in a car accident! Mom and Dad still tell me to drive carefully when the roads are bad, and I've had my license for seven years! Hell, they tell each other to drive carefully. Snowy roads are dangerous, no matter how good a driver you are, because even if you're the best goddamn driver in the world, you can't control other drivers. I couldn't breathe easily until he'd walked in the door. And I had orders to call Dad as soon as he got home safely, too.

I think Jimmy got Mom's forgiveness when he told her he hadn't thought that we might be scared for him. He got my forgiveness when he spent three hours in the freezing garage washing and waxing my car. He got Dad's forgiveness because Dad spent the rest of the day hearing stories from his coworkers about stupid things their kids had done. He didn't have to get Brian's forgiveness, because Brian thought it was hysterically funny, plus it gave him an amusing story to tell all his college friends.

It was a very exciting day, and not really in a good way. Little brothers are exhausting.

ETA: Holy frick! July 21! Why didn't I know sooner? YESSSSS!!!!11!!1eleventyone! I really need to go back to checking my flist every five minutes.
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ikarit: (soukan/ zen not for the trigger happy)
( Jan. 22nd, 2007 04:02 pm)
weight: 149.2 lbs (as of yesterday night)

Today, I finally went to the Y to work out for the first time in a year and a half. The plan is to go three times a week until I leave for vacation. That should be plenty of time to make myself bikini-ready!

To keep track, I'm going to post my weight at the beginning of every entry. I don't really care how much I weigh--it's inches that are important, not pounds, but I'm not going to measure my waist and hips, so weight is what it's going to be. I'm hoping for 125 lbs, but last time I couldn't get below 135 lbs even when I looked really skinny. Muscle is so heavy! Also, my boobs are like five pounds each, so I choose to believe that's where the extra ten pounds were coming from.

It's been a month since I updated, but that's more because my plan was to post my New Year's pictures, but then it took ages for me to upload them and I still have yet to resize and edit them, so that plan is a bust. The ones with me in them turned out kind of fuzzy anyway. That's what I get for having drunks take pictures with my camera. Dammit, there were some cute ones too.

I have an appointment at the local employment agency on Friday, so hopefully soon I'll be working and making money. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to be doing with the rest of my life, but I'll figure that out as I go.
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I had a good Christmas. I hope everyone on my flist did too! Well, everyone who celebrates Christmas, anyway. Maybe I should say Happy Non-Denominational Winter Holiday to everyone else?

The best part about Christmas is the shopping. I love shopping, especially difficult shopping, and shopping is most difficult when you're buying for someone else. It's great. And even better, the shopping isn't over after Christmas! After Christmas is when the returns and exchanges start. I love returns and exchanges, and lucky for me, I have to do a lot of them. Christmas is such an awesome holiday--that is, the materialistic side of it. I have little to no opinion on the religious side, being not very religious.

Also, as of yesterday, I finally learned what my family is doing for our last family vacation. On June 23rd, my family will board a plane for Punta Cana! Wheeee! I am so excited. I've read the brochures, I've seen the flight info, I've looked over the map... I am so very approving of Dad's choice.

In light of this new information, I have pretty much decided I'm going to put all my Christmas money toward a membership at the Y, and start working out again. I am so very determined to wear a bikini and look good doing it.
I woke up this morning with a mild cold. I took some DayQuil right away, but now I'm lightheaded. Not sure if it's from the medication or something else. In any case, I can't take a shower now because I'm afraid I'll pass out. I feel kind of gross at the moment.

I finished up all my Christmas shopping yesterday, as well as bought a nice outfit for Tiffi's New Year's Eve party. I also turned in a job application, but most of me is hoping that they don't call me about that. I'm not sure I can really handle working right now.

I hate wrapping presents, so now there's a huge pile of bags strewn across my bedroom floor. I feel I should do something with them, considering my brothers' presents are in the bags and they could just walk in an start looking through them, but I cannot quite work up the effort necessary for such a task.

Brian's not likely to do it anyway, and Jimmy probably wouldn't realize his presents might be out in the open like that, so they're pretty safe. Mom, on the other hand, might look through the bags for a completely different reason and stumble onto her presents by accident. That would just figure, if it happened.

God, I really want to take a shower.
ikarit: (haruhi/ yummy)
( Dec. 13th, 2006 06:36 pm)
Okay, so I lied. I lied like a lying, lying thing. I am rightly and utterly ashamed of myself. When I say I shall post more, I should follow through and actually post more. But no, not I! I am a low, irredeemable teller of untruths. I apologize from the bottom of my unworthy heart.

In lieu of all the posts I didn't make, I can assure you that I have been reading my flist! I just haven't been commenting because I really have nothing at all to say.

I am in a very cheery mood, if anyone can tell. I spent hours shopping today, and so now I have most of my Christmas shopping done. I'll have to do a few more hours shopping tomorrow, or sometime soon, if not tomorrow, but then I will be done. Yay! I like shopping a lot, but I like having things completed most of all. It'll be a great relief to know I'm all finished.

I'm not sure if I'm going down to Columbus this weekend to visit Tiffi and Brandon again. If I don't go, then I won't see them again until New Year's because next weekend is all Christmas parties. I think I'll probably text Tiffi and decide when I see what they're planning on doing. I still haven't been clubbing with them yet, so we'll see.

Brian's girlfriend Shelley is visiting. She's a sweet girl, but like all of Brian's girlfriends, makes me feel horribly inadequate because she's pretty, smart and funny. I usually hate pretty, smart and funny girls because they make me viciously jealous, but his girlfriends are also amazingly nice and I can't hate nice girls. Shelley is just as typically nice as all his other girlfriends. Also, she has amazing hair. Amazing blonde hair! I just can't win.

At least it's dyed. I think.
It's so funny that I get labeled "the quiet one" by acquaintances when I'm really, really not. I can babble on for ages if unchecked. Especially on days like today, when I see my therapist.

I know a lot of people don't like the idea of therapy because they don't like talking about private things, but for me it's like a dream. Someone paid to listen to me talk about myself and to talk to me about me in return. It's awesome. Yes, I realize I'm self-absorbed. Today she called me "introspective" and "analytical." This is because I spend so much time analyzing my fucked upness that I know exactly why I'm fucked up, and therefore do not need her to figure it out for me. I guess a lot of people go to therapy to figure out why they're messed up, but not me. I know exactly what my problems are and how I got them. I just have no idea how to fix them.

Apparently this is somehow a good quality, so I also got called "insightful."

Right after I got home, I was still in a talking mood. I'd also made myself so anxious about the appointment that I couldn't stop trembling once it was over, and it took me about an hour of constant babbling at my mother before I managed to calm myself down. By that point, I'd been talking about myself almost nonstop for about two hours, so why not keep going? All in all, I talked about four hours straight today. Possibly longer, if typing counts as talking, in which case it's four and a half hours, and still going strong.

My great-grandmother loved to talk, but mostly to insult or boss people around. She could be really mean. My grandpa is a gigantic talker! He can talk for hours and hours about anything on the sun. But it's a good thing for him, because he also loves to listen. I think it's probably more accurate to say he loves conversation. My dad also loves to talk, but unfortunately he's an awful listener. For a few months last year, I tried to talk to him and it took me about two months before I was sure that he wasn't ignoring me. It's definitely safe to say I come by it honestly.

Or there's always the possibility that I'm starving for human interaction other than my immediate family. If this is the case, it's a good thing I made plans to go visit Tiffi in Columbus this weekend.
ikarit: (team seven/ we'll see it through)
( Nov. 16th, 2006 03:32 pm)
I've been a bit of a no show for the past, oh, three or four months, haven't I? That might be changing, I don't know. I've been fairly depressed, and two weeks ago it got to a scary level. I had a moment of clarity, or rather, I actually got so depressed I scared myself and decided maybe I couldn't avoid going back to therapy after all. So I went to the doctor's office, got an appointment with a new therapist and I had my first appointment on Monday. I like her a lot, so hopefully it'll work out well. I have another appointment this Monday.

I'm also really getting my wrists checked out, not just running to a doctor when it gets unbearable. I finally gave in and decided to get tested for carpal tunnel syndrome (which thank god, it turns out I do not have) and I have an appointment with at the Orthopedic Institute at the end of the month. The doctor who did the carpal tunnel testing suggested I might have fibromyalgia, which I seriously doubt, but it's something to ask about at least. I'm still betting on tendonitis.

I checked my friends list for the first time since... god, August, probably. Part of the anti-social behavior I get when I'm depressed. I sincerely doubt anyone missed me, though! I was never a big commenter in the first place. I never have anything to say... and even today, I only commented on maybe one entry. Gah. I am going to try to keep up with it from now on. I miss my flist!

Let's see... what have I been up to? I got into Doctor Who for a little bit. I've only seen three episodes so far, don't know when I'll get around to watching more. I've also been pretty obsessed with Star Wars recently. I almost wrote fic, which is just plain weird. I haven't written fic for nearly a year, and I haven't written anything but Naruto fic for three years. I can't really write anyway. This entry is pushing it; my wrists do pretty good as long as I don't do a lot of typing.

Anyway, the whole point of this entry was to show that I'm going to try to stick around in LJ land for a while. At the rate I was going, I would've ended up deleting my journal or eventually just abandoning it, and I don't doubt I'd regret doing that. So I plan to hang around in corners and maybe you'll even get comments from me! Shocker. :P
Tonight is Trick or Treat night, and I sneakily got out of passing out candy by shoving the job on Jimmy. I hate passing out candy. It's boring, and kids make me uncomfortable. I never know what to say to them! Plus, kids are like animals; they can sense your fear!

Ahem, anyway. Mom just got home to find that I'd passed it over to Jimmy (which was the original plan anyway, I don't know why she was so shocked) so she came back to talk to me about it.

"You're not passing out candy," she said. I just beamed and agreed that I was not. She frowned and stared at me.

"But you're the girl."

...

I'm the girl? Well, that's just awesome. Now I have the perfect excuse to turn down a request that I take over for Jim--I'd be encouraging her blatant sexism! Yeah, okay, she only said that because she thought it would make me do it, and she knows that I know that, but she doesn't have a leg to stand on because she said it in the first place!

I love when she doesn't think things through.
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ikarit: (hikaru/ missing you)
( Oct. 17th, 2006 02:16 am)
I can't sleep and I'm really bored, so meme time!

Name Meme )

Most of them suck, and I'm not actually positive that I got my paternal grandfather's name correct. He died before I was born, and from what I understand he wasn't a very good person. Which explains why he's never been mentioned to me (except from a few asides to make it known that he was a bad person) and why I wouldn't know his name. But I'm pretty sure it's Russell, and I'm almost positive it begins with an R! Probably. It's more than likely similar to Russell. Hopefully. Damn, that's kind of pathetic. But since he doesn't deserve to be remembered, I guess it's okay.
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ikarit: (chewie han luke/ homeboys)
( Oct. 4th, 2006 03:45 pm)
Well, a miracle has occurred. Somehow, someway, I've managed to get a life. It's not a particularly great one, but I have a life! I have a life! I'm very excited.

This past weekend was Tiffi's 21st birthday, so I finally went down to Columbus for the first time to celebrate it with her and a few other friends. There was much fun, partying and clubbing and moderate (or in the case of Tiffi, a whole lot of) drinking. I was a ditz, though, and I forgot my ID at home. It was a miracle I managed to get into the club at all, because I didn't have any picture ID on my at all. They finally accepted my credit card plus my immunization card in lieu of ID, although they marked me as underage. Next time I go down to visit, I will definitely not forget anything!

...and of course I've just jinxed myself. Undoubtedly, I will forget something different but also incredibly important in some way. Oh, well.

Then oddly enough, it seems I have a few former friends and acquaintances that go to my new school, which I did not know about! One I'm really, really excited about. I ran into Amanda on Monday, who I haven't seen since our high school graduation. She sort of dropped off the face of the earth and while I'd heard a few things about what she'd been up to (despite not having a life, until recently I was always amazingly up-to-date on what my high school friends were doing and where they were), I hadn't known she was going to school. It turns out she's going to graduate in the summer, too.

Anyway, after I ran into her on Monday, I was hoping to run into her again today, and I did. We had lunch together and got all caught up. I got her number, she got mine, I gave her Tiffi's (they were best friends in high school, but they haven't spoken since Amanda's graduation either--very odd), hopefully we'll get together again sometime.

There are at least two other people I've run into or just seen on campus. Nancy, who was more of a friend of a friend, but we had lunch together last week and she's very nice. Then as I was leaving today, I saw Heather, who was another friend from high school... kind of. She's sweet, but very flighty. It'd be nice to talk to her again, even just to catch up.

So yeah, I have stumbled onto a life where I do lunches with people and go to clubs and parties. I wonder how long it will last before my anti-social personality pops up and I start hiding in my room again...

Also, have another bunch of quotes! )
I think I've got something figured out. Not only does everything I eat go to my hips, thighs and stomach, it goes to my boobs too. I just bought new bras because half my old ones were crap, and they fit perfectly. Just wonderfully, and it was a miracle because I never have bras that fit. I even had a whole trial period to make sure--I got two new bras about a month ago, and then when I figured out which style fit best, I went out and bought three more of the same style. Now, only a week later, they're all too small. All four of them!

The only possible explanation is that the four pounds I've gained since I bought them have gone to make my already huge chest even bigger. Now it is absolutely imperative that I lose weight immediately! Or at least those four pounds!

Um, I am gonna finish eating the two big chunks of dark chocolate sitting in front of me first. They're just too good to waste.
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Every once in a while, I start thinking deep thoughts. Well, deep thoughts for me which are really more like random and bizarre thoughts. I just feel better if I call them deep.

Like the other day, when I sat around for ages contemplating how exactly my family knew Jimmy was going to be tall. Almost from the moment he was born, the general consensus was, "he's gonna be tall." I have no idea why, but here we are fifteen and a half years later and Jimmy is the tallest member of the family. How did they know?

Just the same, everyone always said I was going to be short, and Brian too. I've still got my fingers crossed for a tiny last growth spurt for Bri, though. Just a half an inch--okay, maybe a full inch--and he'll be taller than me! Just taller than me, that's all I'm asking. I used to love that I was taller than him, but as he got older it got less funny. I'm inches below average height for women, I don't even like to think about how comparatively short that makes Brian.

Oh, and um, still obsessing over Supernatural, though I've gotten better about the dark. No more turning on all the lights... mostly. It comes and goes! Still, no matter how freaked out I might get, the guys are just too hot to avoid the show. Plus, there's an amazing amount of really good fic. I now have more Supernatural fic archived in my memories than anything else.

I've been coming across a bazillion quotes, too. )
ikarit: (sam/ totally unique)
( Aug. 24th, 2006 05:18 pm)
I haven't been on a walk since Saturday and I think I'm going out of my mind. It's just weird. I'm a wimp, and I just wasn't willing to face the prospect of dealing the sores that would inevitably result from walking with blisters. I think today's the day to start walking again, though, since I've discovered the answer to the question I haven't been able to stop thinking about: what happens if you don't pop a blister? Apparently, you end up with a really thick layer of dead skin. It's a toss-up as to whether it's weird or gross. It might even be both weird and gross!

I really, really need a job. Unfortunately for me, I don't know of a job I could both do and would enjoy doing, much less one that I could actually get hired for. I'm running out of money, and considering that I'm a compulsive shopper and there's all these sales at department stores going on and I've just discovered my obsessive love of skirts when I don't (didn't) own any... I really need to earn some money, because even if I've got three credit cards now, I will eventually have to pay them all off. Without money, that will be somewhat difficult and I hate hate hate debt. I really hate it. Student loans are driving me bonkers. Plus, I need gas money for when school starts. I'll have a twenty minute drive to school every day and a twenty minute drive back, and that'll use up a whole lotta gas.

About two years ago, I posted a whole shitload of quotes. I'd say a couple hundred, maybe more. Since then, I've been sporadically adding any new ones I find, and that's getting a bit tiresome. I've decided instead of doing that (because it's not like anyone but me will ever see them anyway, and I wouldn't have posted them if I didn't want people to see them--I've got my own file for myself), I'll just post them in new entries. It won't be often, generally I could go anywhere from one to six months between adding quotes in the old entry, but maybe I'll do it more if I'm posting new entries. An entry with ten random quotes would be a bit much, so maybe I'll try to do a post every time I hit around five quotes.

They're from various sources--I actually went through quote dictionaries when I was younger, but now most of them come from fics or webpages. Whenever I find one that catches my attention, I add it to my file. It's... a really, really big file by now. Anyone who wants to see the old post can check it out here or I have it tagged under "quotes" and as the first entry in my memories under "Misc."
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ikarit: (bones/ human flesh)
( Aug. 20th, 2006 11:27 pm)
The thing about going from a complete and total lump to being somewhat physically active is that you forget what things like blisters and pulled muscles feel like. At this moment, I'm rediscovering blisters in a major way. I should've known to stick with the regular tennis shoes, because right now both my heels have gigantic puss-filled... monsters on them, and my mom gleefully informed me I'm going to be in agony when they pop.

Gross. Even describing them is just gross. I knew there was a reason I'd stuck with the lump-life. The most I ever got with that was bruises from bumping against the edge of my desk or a door or something (I'm really klutzy in that way), and I generally didn't even realize I'd done it until I saw the bruises! No pain with that.

I can't even expect sympathy. *desolate* Both my brothers are athletes--my blisters are nothing to their blisters, plus they generally had to ignore the pain and go to practices anyway. Mom gave me a very descriptive... description... of one Jimmy had a while back, and how he'd had to play even though the raw flesh was rubbing agai--well, anyway. She got very descriptive and I'm trying my best to forget it. I think she was saying "I told you so" about wearing the bad shoes. She warned me about those shoes.
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ikarit: (haruhi/ yummy)
( Aug. 14th, 2006 11:16 am)
Dad has narrowed our next-year-vacation down to Cancun or Curaçao. Probably. I'm leaning towards Cancun, because one of the three resorts he's considering has free visits to Mayan ruins! Every day! He said he figured I'd go for that one, and it's the one he's leaning towards too. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but really, anywhere would be awesome.

I'm still taking walks every day, though since I've finally, finally got my sleep schedule under control, I've changed to taking walks in the morning rather than in the evening. I can do that now since I'm actually awake in the mornings! I'm also vaguely-kinda-sorta on a diet, assuming diet is being used incredibly loosely. This is because our grocery store is remodeling and Mom can't find the snack cakes anymore. She can, however, find the fruits and vegetables, so my only real options for snacks are things like bananas and cherries. Despite all this, I appear to have actually gained two pounds. Hm. I'm not all that worried about it, because it's not the weight that matters, it's the inches. Unfortunately I haven't lost any of those, but at least I haven't gained any!

Other than exercising and eating vaguely healthy, I've been in contact with the college, and I've both changed my major and scheduled my classes. I've got to take an accounting class, ugh. I also talked to some people in the Learning Center about my wrists. I have to have my doctor fill out a disabilities form and then they can work out what I'm going to need done. Definitely someone will have to take notes for me; I can type for an hour or so without too much pain, but writing is almost instantaneously excruciating. I guess because typing uses fingers more than wrists, and vice versa for writing. I'll be able to take quizzes and tests as long as they're just multiple choice or fill-in-the-blank, but I'll have to take any essay tests in the Learning Center with a scribe. It'll be incredibly frustrating, but I don't have a choice. Even if I could work through the pain, I still can't write fast enough to finish within time.

I also need two keyboarding classes for my major (which by the way, is Medical Administrative Assistant), but the one I needed for this quarter is full. Instead of waiting, I mentioned that I'm a good typist and my advisor gave me a name and a number to call to ask about testing out. It'll be a better option in several ways, but it costs $50 just to take the test, so I'm going to have to get an idea of how likely it is that I'll pass. I'm not sure how keyboarding is graded, but I do type "properly." I was up to 70 wpm in my ninth grade keyboarding class, and I'm a whole lot faster now than I was then. I'd say at least 100 wpm, but I've never timed myself so I could be way off. Maybe I should check on that... (ETA: 90 wpm with 90-100% accuracy without splints.)

I need to call about testing out today, and I also need to head over to the eye doctor to have my glasses adjusted. I mentioned a few weeks ago that my left eye was bothering me and I was wearing my glasses more, but it's been a few months and my eye hasn't gotten any better. At this point, I'm wearing glasses more than contacts and I hate wearing glasses. I'm going to talk to my regular doctor about my dry eyes to see what he says, and then assuming he can't do anything, I'll make an appointment with the eye doctor. But about my glasses, I've been really annoyed because while they fit, they don't sit on my nose the way I like and so I'm constantly straining my eyes. I haven't had eye strain this bad in years. I'm not sure if it's that they're not sitting the way I like them, or I'm not used to wearing glasses, but I definitely need to have something done about my eyes. Even if I get the frames adjusted and get used to wearing them, I look just awful wearing them!
ikarit: (anipadme/ falling into place)
( Aug. 6th, 2006 04:53 pm)
Phase one of the weight loss regimen has been enacted!

Not really. My plan was to get fat burners because I'm lazy, but apparently you're not supposed to take those with my medications. So that plan had to be scratched...

In the past, my problem was that I'd proclaim to all and sundry that I was going to lose weight and it'd last a week before I got bored and gave up. That won't happen now, because I've already started exercising for completely different reasons. Every day for the past week, I've taken a long walk. I've also slowly been increasing the distance I walk each day. I started with half-hour walks, but now I'm up to an hour.

I take walks because exercise (and also sunlight) is supposed to help depression and walking is my favorite way to exercise. It helps me relax and clear my thoughts, plus I like looking at all the pretty houses and beautiful landscaping. Since I'm walking for pleasure, it'll be really difficult for me to get discouraged.

I could also start dieting, but even I can't convince myself that I'd be able to stick with it. I don't even believe in diets. Once I lost weight by living off snack cakes. To this day, I'm not entirely sure how that happened. I certainly wasn't trying to achieve anything, I just really like snack cakes.
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Someone should really, really inform authors that "nether regions" is a term that should never be used. Ever. There should be some kind of public service announcement. I see it once in a while and it makes me laugh out loud every time.

Thank god, usually it's not in smut fics. Smut authors generally use better terms than that, even if they are usually just as hysterically funny. Also speaking of smut authors, I've been coming across a rash of smut fics where the author uses "c*ck" instead of "cock." How is that any better? I'm not being rhetorical, I'd seriously like to know.

Segueing onto a completely different topic, it seems that having my little breakdown the other day was what I needed to kick my ass into gear. I've decided that I am going to Rhodes State this fall and I've picked a major. I've got to go to the Office of Admissions on Monday to deal with a few things, and I think I'll actually do it.

I also might reschedule that doctor's appointment I've put off since, oh, early June. My wrists are really bad again, and I'm worried how difficult it will be for me to take notes in class. Typing isn't too bad because the splints help, but that doesn't work with writing. My wrists cramp up after five or ten minutes when I'm writing normally. The speed at which I'd need to write notes would be absolutely impossible, and that will be a huge problem.

But I am really excited about school (well, kind of) and also because my dad told me about our vacation plans for next summer! After he and Mom went to Florida in the spring, he decided that our family needed one last family trip before... well, I guess before Brian and I move out? He wants a last hurrah, I guess. Anyway, for the first time in our lives, it's going to be a major trip. He's not sure where we're going yet, but so far he's tossed out Jamaica, the Virgin Islands and the Bahamas as ideas.

My new goal in life is to lose enough weight to look good in a bikini by next June. And maybe to get tan. And probably have long hair, but I'm only including that because I've wanted long hair since I got it cut short. In 2004, don't ask why I haven't tried to grow it out because it's a long story. If you can't tell, I'm a little bit hyper. I can't help it, I'm excited! I've never flown in a plane, I've never been out of the country, and I haven't been to the ocean since I was about twelve years old. I'm gonna be fixing all three things at once. *glee*
Really, really emotional (depressed) confessions )

Er, hahaha, this is really kind of ridiculous after that drama, but Netta tagged me for a meme. Some of her responses made me think of similar, yet different quirks in myself. So I'm... going to do it. Um.

rules: if you're tagged you must list 6 random facts about yourself, then tag 6 people to do this meme.

1) I have a terrible memory. Really, absolutely awful. However, I never have any trouble remembering where I, or anyone else I'm with, parked a car.

2) I'm a speed reader, but I have to skim read if I don't want to get distracted by pretty phrasing. When that happens, I can read the same paragraph twenty times in a row.

3) I'm double-jointed. I can touch my elbows both in front and behind my back.

4) I don't like live shows or performances by people I know. I'm fine when it's recorded, but something about live shows makes me extremely uncomfortable.

5) I listen to music for the beat and the sound of the voices. The actual words are indistinct. I couldn't tell you more than a few words of any of my favorite songs, because that's not what I listen to.

6) I have the potential to be just as talented athletically as my brothers are, I'm just lazy, uncoordinated and unmotivated. I'm also scared of being hit with most athletic equipment, mostly because I've been hit with most athletic equipment.

Annnnd I'm not going to tag anyone. I don't do tagging.
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ikarit: (akihika/ end of the world)
( Jul. 26th, 2006 11:50 pm)
My eyes are really bothering me lately. My left eye, really. I've taken to wearing my glasses all the time, because my left eye is constantly dry--I can wear my contacts maybe six hours before it starts bothering me so much that I have to take them out. I'm almost wondering if there's something wrong, but otherwise nothing's wrong.

On the other hand, I'm not really that happy with my glasses either. It feels like they need to be readjusted! The nosepieces feel off, and they're sticking to my nose and it's driving me crazy. I started putting lipgloss on the nosepieces just to save myself from insanity. I'm really not kidding.

I could've handled one or the other, but of course for me, they have to happen at the exact same time. Somewhere there's a deity laughing at me.

Oh! And in other, less annoying news, I went to see Superman Returns this afternoon. No one wanted to see it with me and I did have a free pass, so I just went by myself. I've only ever done that once before and I swore to never do it again because I felt like a total moron, but for some reason I thought it might be worth it today.

Brandon Routh is incredibly hot--I didn't think so before, but damn, I changed my mind within the first ten minutes of the movie. That is one attractive man!
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ikarit: (honey/ kyaa!)
( Jul. 24th, 2006 12:58 am)
Erk. Why is it that I love to sleep but hate to go to bed? It's almost a paradox except not really.

It's not noteworthy except that lately I've been going to bed around four or five in the morning and I really, really don't like that because then I wake up at one or two in the afternoon and the day's half over. It's completely pointless. Also, I miss out on all that time where my parents are at work. Solitude is so precious, especially since my mother gets in these phases where she comes in my room and babbles at me constantly.

I love my mother, but sometimes she makes me twitch really, really badly.

Tonight I will make my stand! Tonight I will go to bed at a reasonable hour (okay, that means like two am because I need some time to work up to an actual reasonable hour) and I'll probably still sleep in because it's habit but then tomorrow night I will go to bed even earlier and maybe I'll get lucky and wake up before noon!

That'd be so fantastic.





You know, I'd almost believe what I'm saying except I say it every night.
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(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

I miss somebody right now.  (More like a state of perpetually missing someone...) × I don't watch much TV these days. I own lots of books.  (Ran out of room, so my closet is stuffed full)
I wear glasses or contact lenses. × I love to play video games. × I've tried marijuana.
× I've watched porn movies. × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.  ('Sometimes' might be an undestatement) I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.  (Well, regressed, anyway...) × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
it goes on... )
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ikarit: (bones/ frozen pig)
( Jul. 14th, 2006 03:41 pm)
Happy birthday, Nathan! As my present to you, I bought myself a digital camera and took a few pictures of my short hair (well, okay... more of a present to myself, but it's all you're getting). Y'know, because you've been saying that you can't picture me with short hair, even though it's been short for like two years and I've shown you other pictures before.

Here you go! )

Now's as good a time as any to jump back into livejournal. I've been sporadically easing back into my old routine, beginning with going through my friends list a few days ago. I also decided that part of the reason I was so overwhelmed a while ago is that I had a lot more people on my friends list than I should've--people I haven't spoken to in a very long time.

So some people might've noticed that I did a bit of defriending--it wasn't personal, we just weren't close or hadn't spoken in a very long time, if ever. When my journal was friends locked, I didn't do it because anyone I unfriended wouldn't be able to read my journal, but now it's public and it isn't a problem. Hopefully everyone is okay with that, if not, comment on this entry. I don't think it'll be a problem. On the same token, if anyone's been wanting to defriend me and didn't do it for whatever reason, feel free now. Er, unless all your entries are friends locked... then I'd be sad.
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So, it's been a while since I've posted. Or read my friends list. Or... talked to much of anyone. Yeah. Um. It's been a bad couple of weeks and I couldn't quite figure out what to say, how to say it, or even if I wanted to say it. It's just been a really bad couple of weeks.

Thanks for everyone who gave their condolances about my great-grandmother. I can't remember if I got back with everyone or not--it was just about the time of my last entry that I started to fall apart about her, and I was fairly hysterical for the next few days after. It didn't help that after the funeral, there was a bunch of family drama involving her will. No one was fighting over it, but there was drama and readjusting who got what and then my great-aunt screwed my grandfather over (again, not over who got what, since she got disinherited and my grandpa was nicely giving her more money) and my family was worried that Grandpa would have a heart attack or something. He was already so upset, visiting Great-Grandma's grave two or three times a day, and then she just abandoned him when she could've been helping him.

Apparently the process of finishing all the last few things with the will and selling stuff and... stuff... is going to take months, at least. Grandpa seems to be doing better, though, so that's something at least.

I don't really know other than that. I was already kind of on the verge of being fucked up, and I've kinda-sorta started seeing a therapist again. I saw him once before my great-grandma died, and then he went on vacation, so I'm not seeing him again until the end of the month.

I just can't really force myself to feel much interest in anything right now. It doesn't help that last night the power went out for about two hours and then when it came back on, I found out that my computer was completely fried in a power surge. So much for my surge protector, huh?

Brian thinks it's either the motherboard, the processor or... something else, I forget what. He said it's probably the motherboard, which should still be under warranty. Buuuuut... the guy that built it and can look at it to say for sure just went on vacation. Or will be going on vacation within a half an hour. So I won't know for sure until next week, unless I want to pay fifty fucking dollars to take it to a computer repair shop. I don't really want to pay, so I'm stuck on my crappy laptop until then.

I suppose I should just be thankful it likely isn't my hard drive.

There's been other stuff going on too, but mostly just little minor things. So... nothing really tragic happened, I guess, but I was already fairly fucked up in the head, so now I'm just on the verge of... something. Probably a nervous breakdown. Or something. God, I don't know. Shit. Um, anyway, no friends list for me for probably a long time. I'm going to be taking a break from livejournal, and just watch, now that I've said it, I'll probably be on it obsessively within the next few days, just because my life is like that. But honestly, more than likely I'm going to be gone. No real loss, and more than likely no one would've even realized I wasn't around.

...um, why does my laptop seem to think it's November 2002? Dammit, this is such a pain in the ass.
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ikarit: (padme/ all the sadness)
( Jun. 4th, 2006 11:32 am)
My dad just called to tell me that my great-grandmother died this morning. She had very advanced Alzheimer's Disease, and had been sick for some time.

I'm not really sure what I'm feeling. We were never close; Great-Grandma could be a very demanding and unforgiving person. She was hard. When I was very young, I was somewhat scared of her. I loved and respected her, but there were very few times I understood her.

I just made a mistake with my tenses. Past tense, past tense. I guess some part of me just expected her to live forever--I mean, how many people can say they have great-great-grandchildren? Not very many. And she had two. And one is around ten years old!

I guess really the only thing I'm really certain of at the moment is that she'll be happier now. She'd rather have died than live like she did the past five years.
ikarit: (team seven/ sparks)
( Jun. 3rd, 2006 05:47 pm)
Okay, you know what really annoys me more than anything else in the world (that I can think of at this exact moment)? It happens a lot with fanfic or icon posts... when someone posts to a community or a journal with a link to somewhere else and calls it a fake cut. Occasionally they get creative and bold the link.

It's not a fake cut. It's a link. A fake cut is a link that looks like a cut. A link is just a link. See the difference, moron?

Examples:
( Fake cut )
Link

SEE THE DIFFERENCE?!
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I am way more amused than I should be. Tiffi and I were supposed to drive up to Toledo and have a fun day shopping, but she just texted me and said she has a sore throat. That really isn't funny except we were supposed to go last Saturday, and I begged off because I didn't feel good. And we'd originally planned to do it when I was still living up there, but that never quite worked out either.

And now we have no idea when we're going to be able to do it. Tentatively Thursday, assuming she feels better and she isn't behind at work.

I knew I should have waited to get up, I just knew it. She didn't text until I'd already taken a shower. That's what I get for waking up two hours before my alarm, huh?
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ikarit: (sasuke/ we've been dreaming)
( May. 17th, 2006 12:00 am)
Whoops, haven't been around for a bit. I haven't had a chance to check my friends list since Saturday night and I don't know when I'll get a chance, so thanks to everyone who said happy birthday on Sunday or thereabouts. :D Am I really 22 years old already? Huh.

Job search is going... or rather not going... not well.
Um. I've been recruited (...kinda blackmailed, actually...) to promote a new HP fic community.

[livejournal.com profile] hp_lowrating is a new comm for low-rating Harry Potter slash and femmeslash pairings in fic and art. Anyone who would appreciate a community for only lower-rating slash pairings should check it out.
The worst part about being so pale and a klutz is that my legs generally look like patchwork quilts. Blue, purple, yellow and green against my super pale skin is very ugly. Hm, also maybe a sickening sort of brownish black? Still, patchwork quilt with really uneven blocks.

Plus, lately, I've had this thing where along with the bruises of all shapes and sizes, I get them in two tiny dots right beside each other. What's with that? I have no idea what's causing it. I've got two dots on the front of my right thigh, two dots on the back of my left thigh, and I had two dots on my left forearm, too, but they're mostly gone.

I never remember what I did to get the bruises, because I bump into stuff all the time and it's hard to keep track of half a dozen bumps a day. But two tiny dots? What in god's name could cause two tiny dots, and why in such varied places? Totally bizarre.

I guess I'm just annoyed because right now it's particularly bad. When I was younger, I never got bruises ever, but now I do and currently, I've got half a dozen on my left leg and at least three on my right, plus a few on my arms. Argh! One of the ones on my left leg is GIANT, too, and it's right under my knee.

I need to tan just so the bruises aren't so obvious.

I also need to start posting about all the anime and manga I've been going through. I have so much to say and yet, no words come. Prince of Tennis and Hunter x Hunter and Ouran High School Host Club and--...well, I think that's actually all, but I'm doing anime and manga both for all three of those series so it is actually a lot. Someone remind me to at least squee about Host Club sometime, because that series is just a breath of fresh air, and so very funny.
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How did I manage to not know that my favorite romance novelist (the one I love because she writes quirky, hilarious books, usually with dogs as plot points) was born and raised in Wapakoneta, a small town about ten or fifteen minutes from my house? No, seriously, HOW?

I'd guessed she was from Ohio, because her books are set in Ohio and what kind of author would set books in OHIO of all places if they weren't FROM Ohio, but so close? Yeah, bit of a shocker there, if you can't tell from the major rambling spree I'm on.

I mean, seriously. I have family, both in the past and currently, living in Wapak. When I was doing phlebotomy courses last year and needed all kinds of immunizations because I was hopeful and thought I'd actually be a phlebotomist and work in a hospital where I'd need the immunizations, I went to the Auglaize County Health Department in Wapak, because the Allen County Health Department in Lima is more expensive (which is at least twenty minutes from my house despite the fact that it's actually in the same county and pretty much the same city).

I really loved going there, too, because it's such a lovely country drive and such a cute little city. I actually fell in love with it and decided I wanted to maybe live there someday. My favorite author (relatively speaking) is from a town I'd once decided I wanted to LIVE IN. Also the town my brother got busted for underage drinking in, but that's another story and not an especially positive one. (Wapak police are known for their ferver. No one speeds in Wapak.)

Actually, I never stopped considering it as a future town of residence. It's either that or my mother's hometown, which is approximately the same distance away but I'm fairly sure does not have a health department. What? I like cute, cozy little towns. My hometown is an honest-to-god village but it's a suburb of a city so it doesn't really count because there's not a village atmosphere, or even a small town atmosphere.

Although living in Toledo all year kind of gave me a taste for larger cities. They have really awesome malls. I'm going to miss the malls.

By the way, I'm home for summer break. I forgot to mention that.

ETA: Oh, and also, not going back to Toledo next year. Yeah. I'm changing my major, switching schools and staying home. I'm flighty like that.
[livejournal.com profile] naatz: If there's no Snape/Ron for me to read, I shall write it myself!!
[livejournal.com profile] naatz: I know you might not reply, just wanted to share. *hearts*
[livejournal.com profile] karit: ...
[livejournal.com profile] karit: And here I thought you couldn't horrify me more than you already had.
[livejournal.com profile] karit: Oh god, I was so wrong.
I think the part that disturbs me most is all the bright, cheery hearts and smiley faces she uses while telling me this stuff )

[livejournal.com profile] karit: Netta showed up a little bit ago and started babbling at me about how she's got a Snape/Ron fetish currently, and how since there's no fics for that pairing (OH MY GOD, WHY WOULD THERE BE?!?!?!), she's got to write some herself.
[livejournal.com profile] karit: I told her she made me want to bleach my brain.
[livejournal.com profile] rezantis: o.o
[livejournal.com profile] karit: Why is my little sister so disturbed? ;_;
[livejournal.com profile] karit: I mean people say you can't choose your family whenever their family is crazy, but apparently even when you DO choose it, you can't avoid the crazy. ;_;
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...okay, it's been what, a week? A week and a day? The only typing I've done is the two posts I've written and the occasional website url and other such things. I can't stand it anymore! I'm typing again and I'll see how it goes. It's not like I do a whole lot of typing anyway, and it was killing me to see entries and want to reply so badly but being unable. Yeah. If my wrists start to hurt more, I'll stop.

I'll stop for a bit, anyway.

So! Still not sure how much I'll be on MSN and AIM because I'm back at school for two days to take exams and I only have my crappy laptop. Why, oh why did the last episode of Ueki come out when I can't download it? It's like they're purposely trying to torture me.

But I shall survive, rly. Nothing can keep me down for long! Even if I can't continue downloading Prince of Tennis and Hunter x Hunter EITHER.

...zomg my life is hell until I get home tomorrow evening.
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I went to the doctor this afternoon, finally, to have him check on my wrists as well as some other things.

In exchange, I'm now wearing super ugly wrist splits on both arms, and they're amusingly called "cock-up wrist splints". Im' not a big fan of puns, but really, it's just too easy to say "I'm wearing them because of a major cock-up," or maybe just laugh because, haha, cock-up. I'm such a child.

Really, though, they're ugly. So very ugly. It's kind of humiliating. I have to go out tonight, too--Mom's birthday is Sunday and we're having her birthday dinner tonight. Why? ;_; I'm still not used to them, especially since the "cock-up" part of the name refers to the way the splits position the hands: cocked up. Typing is awkward, and trying to learn how to use silverwear in a nice restaurant wearing these UGLY THINGS is not my idea of a good day.

Also, I'm still sticking with the whole "no typing" thing just because it's really fucking hard to type in these things. Plus, even with the splints, typing this entry is starting to wear on me.

Yeah, now it's starting to hurt again, so...

Oh! One last thing: typing really is difficult, so if there are any weird errors, please just ignore them. ;_; I think I got them all, but eh.
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ikarit: (sakura/ defeat)
( Apr. 24th, 2006 10:44 pm)
Just wanted to note that I'm not going to be online (at least, not contactable) for the foreseeable future due to tendonitis flare-ups again. I'm fairly sure I've never posted about it, but I have complained about it to several people. Sometime in the spring of last year, my mother sent me to get four gallons of milk and I (in my eternal brilliance, wtf) didn't want to bother with a cart so I carried all four of them on my own. Two in each hand.

Um. Yeah, it's a huge grocery store, and I carried them all the way from the back to the cash register, and from the cash register out to my car. It started to hurt when I was about halfway to the cash register, but I don't quite understand the limits of my body so I just kept at it.

I'm not so smart.

Anyway, I had tendonitis in both wrists for a while after that, and it eventually went away, but I've had flare-ups ever since. This one is really quite bad and it's lasted a few days so far. Typing this entry is killing me. I wish I could say I'm smart enough to stay off the computer for a few days, but I can't manage it. I'm going to try as best I can, but...

Anyway, what I can do is avoid typing, so I'm going to be set away on all IM programs, make no comments or posts on livejournal, and absolutely no writing fics (not that I ever do that anyway). Basically, if it involves typing, I'm not going to be doing it.

If I do comment or get on MSN or AIM, please feel free to yell at me.

Oh, and before anyone says anything: yes, I'm going to make a doctor's appointment. This is probably not okay, and I read that if tendonitis lasts a year, it's chronic and difficult to--

shit no more typing ow sudden pain--
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ikarit: (luke/ oh shit)
( Apr. 23rd, 2006 02:30 am)
I was going to make an entry about the two series I've just started to read/watch (Hunter x Hunter and The Prince of Tennis), but paranoia has hit an all time high.

Three very large spiders so far tonight and now I'm checking out each and every room like a SWAT team does as I enter.

I hate my life.

(But the Hunter x Hunter manga is a very good distraction.)
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ikarit: (narusasu/ i hate everything about you)
»

so.

( Apr. 21st, 2006 10:05 pm)
In life, there are good things and then there are bad things.

For example.

When a young girl sitting innocently in her computer chair turns to see a spider hanging in midair about six inches away from her face... that is a bad thing. Bad. Very bad.

It is worse when it happens very late at night, at a time when she cannot scream for fear of waking up family members who would then beat her over the head with sticks. Or maybe rocks. Possibly even sticks and rocks.

It's much, much worse when she loses track of the spider while she's panicking and realizes the most likely scenario is that it's ON HER SOMEWHERE. So then she's ripping off her pajamas while frantically brushing at her arms and legs. Naturally, it will not be until she's thrown off her pants that she looks down and sees the spider on the floor about a foot away.

So then this girl is running around in her underwear as she tries to smash the spider.

It's not fun. Or funny--so no laughing.

Not that this particular situation happened to me.
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[Scene: Jennie is in the kitchen with her mother and her youngest brother... who is peeling a hard-boiled egg (and incidentally, also taunting the dog with it).]

Jimmy: Something smells funny.
Mom: It's fine.
Jimmy: No, you're-- ...fine.

*short pause*

Jimmy: Um.
Me & Mom: ...
Jimmy: Ahaha?
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The following review has been submitted to: Routine Chapter: 1

From: So&So ()
-------------------

LEE IS MINE!1 YOU SUCK!
-------------------


...uhhhhhhhhhh. 'kay?
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ikarit: (naruto/ the end of all innocence)
( Apr. 17th, 2006 08:43 pm)
You know what? I'm defying convention and from now on I'm going to wear a bra to bed. Because dammit, it does NOT cause cancer and it's just fucking more comfortable! I don't care if it's weird, I really don't!

It's indisputable that someone's boobs are too big when they think bras are so comfortable that they want to sleep in them.

And can someone poke me repeatedly until I start writing the fic bunny I just got? Because if I don't write it now, I'll never write it. Wait, no, don't. Wait, do. Wait--oh, hell. Do whatever you want. o.o
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Okay.

So how is it that in my nearly twenty-two years, no one ever managed to tell me that eggs have expiration dates? Or y'know, that they EXPIRE?

Because I really could've used that information this morning. It would've saved me from that whole vomiting episode right after I finished eating scrambled eggs for breakfast. And right before I had to go to the dentist.

Lemme guess... this is one of those bits of information they call "common sense"?
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